Sign: Furtive or Secretive Behavior
"My daughter locks her bedroom door now. She never did that before. When I try to come in she screams at me to give her privacy. When I demand she open the door, she sometimes takes five minutes to do it, and I can hear her in there running around. She claims she wasn't dressed, but I know what I heard: She is hiding something. I really hate the fact that she whispers on the phone and goes silent shen she sees me coming."
Teens do need more privacy. Their need for more independence and privacy does not alone indicate a problem. However, if you see other signs, and this new need for privacy seems more like sneaking around or trying to hide something, look more closely at what is going on.
If your child takes too long to open a locked door - could she or he be hiding something? If you smell anything in the room such as smoke or alcohol, you will have a quick answer. Many parents feel conflicted about the idea of searching a child's room. However, if you are seriously concerned about your child's safety and welfare, it is your parental and legal responsibility to make sure nothing is being hidden from you that could compromise your child's future. Obviously, unwarranted searches can break down trust between you and your teen. However, if you are reasonably suspicious, trust your instincts and take the steps you need to (and have a right to take) in order to intervene.
If your teen hides where he goes - lies about where he or she has been - this is another bad sign. Teens who are not doing anything they shouldn't rarely worry about telling the truth about where they are going or where they have been. Where there is smoke, there's fire.
