When to Seek Help

When does a parent know that the situation is out of their control and they need to seek outside help for their child? If you notice changes in and of the following areas, seek the advice of a physician and/or therapist/counselor to further determine if you child needs intervention.

Emotional Changes

Persistently sad and/or hopeless
Cries suddenly and often
Regular extremely angry outbursts that seem like an overreaction
Phobias or fears that seem exaggerated
Child states he or she feels "controlled" by bad thoughts
Excessive worry or anxiety
Bizarre behavior (temper tantrums; rambling speech; paranoid)

Behavioral Changes

School performance declines dramatically
No longer interested in activities child once enjoyed
Isolates him or herself; avoids friends and family
Changes peer group and avoids introducing new friends to family
Threatening suicide
Significant change in how they express themselves (more agitated than usual; more depressed than usual; confused speech; unreasonable)
Destructive toward self, others, or property
Dramatic changes in appearance (clothing, body piercing, tattoos) accompanied by changes in behavior
Change in level of hygiene (no longer cares about appearance)

Where to Seek Help

Your child's school may offer counseling services, or may be able to recommend a therapist to help your child handle the stresses of adolescence. First talk to your child and try to find out how they feel and what issues they are facing. Let them know you support and love them, but that you feel the situation warrants seeking professional advice and counseling. Your child may be resistant at first, but then may find relief in having a neutral third-party person with which to discuss their concerns, fears, and struggles. Expect a certain amount of resistance, and don't let it prevent you from following your instincts and intervening if you feel this is in your child's best interests.

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Test Your Knowledge

Self-Test: Does Your Child Exhibit Any of These Signs? Please answer each question then review your score at the end of the test. 1. Does your teen seem persistently sad and/or hopeless? Yes No 2. Does your teen overreact to situations? i.e., extremely angry outbursts or crying jags persistently occur have minor setbacks. Yes No 3. Has your teen lost interest in schoolwork and his or her grades have begun to suffer? Yes No 4. Has your teen lost interest in activities and interests that they used to enjoy? Yes No 5. Has your child recently changed his or her peer group, and become secretive about these new friends (e.g., not introducing them to the family) Yes No 6. Have you noticed a change in your child's appearance and general health (this can include weight gain or loss, lack of concern for hygiene, unusual sleeping patterns) Yes No 7. Has your child participated in destructive behavior that endangers his/her or others safety? Yes No 8. Does your child's mood control the mood of the home? Yes No Score = Correct answers: Your score: 75-100%, your child may simply be showing normal reactions to the stresses of adolescence; 52-74%, your child is showing a number of signs that may indicate a more serious problem, so it is a advisable that you keep a close eye on their behavior; 51% or lower, your child may be in trouble and you should seek some sort of intervention and get them any professional help they may need to improve their behavior and academic performance.

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"I probably waited too long. I kept thinking she would snap out of it, that these were just the normal things a teen goes through. I wish I'd acted earlier. Maybe I could have kept it from getting so bad. She has a long way to go now. Two years ago, when she first started showing she was in trouble, I think it would have been a lot easier to get her back on track." A Parent